This highly trained groundhog is the newest secret weapon to be deployed in
Afghanistan. Their mission is to root out Al-Queda terrorists from their under-
ground bunkers. When asked about the 25 million dollar bounty on Bin-Laden's
head, their Special Forces trainer replied, "a lifetime supply of Jiffy Peanut Butter
and Planter's Mixed Nuts is all these little fellows want." When asked about
their training regimen he declined comment due to security reasons, but did
let it slip that "beards and turbans really freak 'em out, like a pack of hungry
wolves they attack anything that moves, not a pretty sight!"